Warning: Everything in this post is NSFW (not safe for work)!

Sexual but not overly so, honest and inspiring and most definitely beautiful!

Very interesting to hear the photographer's thoughts and seeing the trust between him and the models, to the extent that everyone can just be so comfortable being in their own skins.

The Making of the 2010 Pirelli Calendar by Terry Richardson from Rafael Rubira on Vimeo.

Here's a full look at the calendar.
http://www.highsnobiety.com/news/2010/01/28/pirelli-calendar-2010-a-full-look-nsfw/

Fighting with 72 + 40 + 64 others.

I dreamt I was attached. Again.
And that MUJI was on sale at super low prices! Wootz.

4 page thesis by Peter Backus, a fourth year PhD student and Teaching Fellow in the Department of Economics at the University of Warwick.

Why I Don't Have A Girlfriend

Tell me about it. Haha.

Lighting was like a little bit of charting into unknown territories for me especially after hearing horror stories from the photography majors. But sitting in class and listening to Wayne, I think this will be one of the modules I'll be liking the most at the end of it all.

And Wayne talked about shooting from the heart. To do that, you need to understand what's coming from within. And I think I can feel where he's coming from. I think he's right. I should try stepping out of that introverted self and maybe just try to understand myself better.

Hopefully Wayne and Danne this semester will allow me to at least see some light at the end of the tunnel.

School starts today!

May it be a good semester ahead!

As every semester goes by, it seems to affirm the unescapable fact that I just do not seem to cut out as a graphic designer. If results are anything to go by, it would only hint that I am more a typographer than a graphic designer. I wouldn't say I put in the most of hard work into graphic design, but I think I pride myself with whatever I do to say that I've put in enough. Yet increasingly, all it does tell me is that I do not have the talent to cut it out.

Yes, the future is shrouded in uncertainty. Gone were the younger days, where dreams were made of fantasy. Where I could dream of myself being the next footballing son, the next top character designer for Square, the next this, the next that. Maybe it's because I'm a pefectionist, that all I can think of is, "If you're not the best, then why bother?" As the quote goes, "The more you know, the harder it is to take decisive action." Because we all start to see the complexities and shades of grey in something, that dreams are not so simple as they seemed to be before.

I think I've said this many times before, that I have seemed to lost the drive to become the best there is. It's easier said than done. Things like, "you're not working hard enough", "take action", "passion drives you" and all that nice sounding phrases. And I'm always saying, yet not taking action, because it feels like a chore. I don't think that is the way it should be. I don't think passion should feel like it's a burden. Maybe I just haven't found the path I was set to walk on. Yet as you grow older, the reality creeps in. I'm only formally trained in what I'm doing now, and if I fail, what else can I do? I'm 25 this year, and there is little time for failure left. Reality often conflicts with what an individual really wants. I really do not want to work just for the sake of putting rice on the table, but I have to take up the responsibility of earning the keep of the family sooner or later. What you want to do, is slowly taken over by what you need to do. And because money makes the world go round, there's little choice for us middle income individuals.

Maybe I'm just having a bad day. That I woke up from a dream, or call it a nightmare if you want, that left me feeling unwell. Not that I was physically sick, but more like I was mentally traumatised. Then for the rest of the day, I just lay on bed, refusing to get up from it, sleeping to escape from the realities of the world, hoping that nightmares wouldn't haunt me again.

When I got up, it was already dark. Yet, not feeling any better, and still feeling depressed and unmotivated, as I write this entry. Knowing that I've been all alone these 25 years, with not a single other that I can bare my soul out to, does not help one bit at all.

First post of the new decade!

So what's your New Year resolution?
Mine's 4288 x 2848, 1920 x 1080 and 1680 x 1050.
No prizes for guessing what kind of resolution and which they belong to. Quite straightforward isn't it.

And these are the kind of resolutions that you hope you will keep changing! Especially the 4288 x 2848 one. Rumors has it that a replacement is coming... Heh heh heh

Have a happy 2010 dear readers!